How to increase self-confidence.

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Self-confidence is an essential quality that can help us feel more capable and successful in our personal and professional lives. However, many people struggle with low self-confidence, which can hold them back from achieving their goals and reaching their full potential.

Self-confidence is the first requisite to great undertakings.

Samuel Johnson

BOOST YOUR SELF-CONFIDENCE

If you’re looking to boost your self-confidence, here are a few tips to help you get started:

Identify and challenge negative thought patterns. Our thoughts play a big role in shaping our self-confidence. If you tend to have negative or self-defeating thoughts, try to identify and challenge these thoughts. When you catch yourself thinking something negative, ask yourself if it’s really true. Oftentimes, our negative thoughts are not based in reality and can be reframed to be more positive and empowering.

Practice self-care. Taking care of yourself is an important part of building self-confidence. This can include things like getting enough sleep, eating a healthy diet, and taking breaks to relax and recharge. When you feel good physically, you’ll be better able to tackle challenges with confidence.

Set and achieve small goals. Accomplishing small goals can give you a sense of accomplishment and boost your self-confidence. Set goals that are achievable and work towards them consistently. As you achieve more and more goals, you’ll start to feel more confident in your ability to succeed.

Learn a new skill or hobby. Expanding your skills and knowledge can be a great way to build self-confidence. Choose something that interests you and commit to learning as much as you can about it. As you become more proficient in your new skill or hobby, you’ll start to feel more confident in your abilities.

Surround yourself with positive people. The people we surround ourselves with can have a big impact on our self-confidence. Seek out supportive and positive people who believe in you and your abilities. Their encouragement and belief in you can help you to feel more confident in yourself.

 

 

sTRATEGIES HELP SELF-CONFIDENCE

 

By implementing these strategies, you can start to build your self-confidence and feel more capable and successful in your personal and professional life. Don’t be afraid to take small steps and seek support from others as you work towards boosting your self-confidence. With a little effort and determination, you can achieve the confidence you deserve.

Understanding the power of body language.

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We’ve all done it, well I know I have, walked into a room full of strangers and known who to approach and who to steer away from. But how?

Without realizing it was probably by reading the body language

Let’s say it’s a party and you only know the host. You walk in scan the room, not a familiar face in sight. Who do you approach? And why?

You probably looked for a smile or a gesture that said welcome. No words were exchanged but you just knew they were ‘safe’ to talk to, that they were friendly. All that information without a word being exchanged.

HOW IMPORTANT IS BODY LANGUAGE

We probably rely on non-verbal cues more than we realise.

It has been estimated that up to 65%  of all information received about a situation is non- verbal so knowing how to read body language is really important.

Some body language is easy to interpret while some is so subtle that you need to really take notice.

For example, most people know the ‘look’ from their Mother that means don’t mess with me. Well, I know my sons do!

Sometimes you may have no idea that someone disagrees until after the conversation has ended and they do exactly the opposite to what was discussed.

When the eyes say one thing and the tongue another, a practiced man relies on the language of the first.

Ralph Waldo Emerson

HOW TO LEARN BODY LANGUAGE

There are a lot of books and resources out there to learn about body language. But a great way to start is by observing people.

One of my favourite things to do is people watch, I love to make up stories about who they are and where they might be going, but that’s a blog for another day!

Seriously, though, watching how people interact when you can’t hear what they are saying is a great way to study body language.

Do they look interested in each other, are they looking into each other’s eyes, what do their hand gestures look like? All of these will help you start to really see the non-verbal communication.

OBSERVE, OBSERVE, OBSERVE

Next time you are speaking to someone watch what they do. Are they turned to you? Are they making eye contact? Do you feel comfortable?

The more you practice the better you will get at reading what they actually mean not just what they are saying.

GET BETTER AT READING BODY LANGUAGE

We know that body language is important in communication and we all want to be better at communication.

By studying body language you can learn how to improve your own non-verbal communication. You can become that person that looks more approachable and friendly and can put people at ease.

It will improve all areas of your life from romantic relationships to your relationships with co-workers.

And, it’s not about becoming someone else or not being authentic it’s about being mindful of how you impact those around you.

UNDERSTANDING BODY LANGUAGE

So what are some of the non-verbal ways you communicate?

Eye contact

Eye contact can be seen to show honesty and trust worthiness. But not too much or too intense or you may look scary.

Gestures

Movements such as nodding your head, mirroring the other person and having an open posture and hand movements puts others at ease.

Proximity

Maintain a comfortable distance. No-one likes to be crowded. Be mindful that all cultures are different so take your cue from the other person if you are unsure.

Mirroring

Matching your posture to the other person. Using similar gestures and tone of voice can help put another person at ease.

Tone of voice

Vary your tone to keep the other person interested. If your message is likely to be hard for the other person to hear use a softer tone so it easier for them to accept.

Facial expression

Don’t forget to smile. Sounds simple but so easy to miss, especially when you are really concentrating. It’s great to look interested just remember to show your enjoyment.

Appearance 

How you dress, your hair, your accessories all convey a message. Be aware of the choices you make and how they make you appear. Are they congruent with how you see yourself? 

WATCH FOR EMOTION

Words are important and we should be listening to what someone is saying. However, the way in which those words are being spoken can totally change the meaning.

What tone is being used? What is their posture? If you ask someone how they are feeling and they slump their shoulders and mumble ‘fine’ in a sad voice – they probably aren’t fine at all.

Intangible expression can convey emotion much better than what is being expressed in the words.

 

PRACTICE YOUR MOVES

Of course, we all have certain ways of moving and speaking that are personal to us, for example I speak with my hands – a lot! However, it’s a good idea to be aware of how you appear to others.

It might feel a bit strange but standing in front of the mirror and having a conversation with yourself is a great way to ‘check yourself’ You may find your face is doing something you’re unaware of.

An ex-colleague of mine would unconsciously roll her eyes when someone said something she didn’t agree with. She was totally unaware and didn’t realise the impact it was having on co-workers. Needless to say she became much more popular once she realized what she was doing and put a stop to it.

So take notice of your body language and make sure it is conveying the right message, it could make all the difference.

Don’t we all just want to be happy?

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We all just want to be happy, don’t we? To feel a sense of accomplishment at the end of every day and wake up with enthusiasm for the day that is about to unfold.

How many of us though, can truly say we are happy?

There is so much negativity in the world, wars, tragedies, we can feel overwhelmed. It’s so easy to get caught up in what’s going on around you, sometimes you just might need to slow down and breathe.

focus on being happy

One thing I know we can’t control what’s happening around us and we can control how we respond. 

I believe that what yuo focus on is what you get. So choose to be happy.

I am not saying you ignore the world around you but choose where you can affect change and focus on those areas of your life. Worrying about things that you cannot do anything about does not help anyone.

SELF CARE

What would happen if you chose to look after yourself first? A bit like the safety talk on an aeroplane – put YOUR oxygen mask on first. Not only will you be happier, but you will be surprised at the positive affect you have on those around you.

Put aside some time to do activities that give you pleasure. It could be as simple as relaxing with a good book, having a massage or starting a hobby you’ve always wanted to try.

To fall in love with yourself is the first secret to happiness.

Robert Morley

HEALTH

Focus on your health which may be a affecting your mood. Do you take time look after yourself? Are you present to your overall health? Make yourself the priority, after all you can’t be there for others if you are not taken care of yourself.

So next time you find yourself being critical, stop. Give yourself some positive self-talk and whatever you think you can’t do, you can, you just need to figure it out.

It takes some practice but after a while you can start to eliminate all the negative self-talk. It’s not the same as telling yourself you are the best all the time and that everything is perfect, just that you are you and that’s ok.

A major contributor to mood can be gut health.  Look at your food. Could you eat a little healthier? Cut out some sugar, eat more fresh vegetables? A food diary is a great way to work out your starting point, it also helps you keep on track when you start making changes.

Get out and move your body, exercise has so many benefits. Depending on your fitness level it could be going to a gym or taking a gentle walk. The bonus with exercise is it’s also great for your mental health.

Make sure you get enough rest. Sleep is so good for you it can boost your immune system, improve your mood and your memory and may even help you lose weight!

 

 

 

MINDSET

You are as happy as you tell yourself you are. Getting your mindset right will have a huge impact on your happiness so why not focus on learning ways to improve it.

A gratitude journal is a great place to start. It has been shown to have positive benefits for many areas of life such as relationships, health, career and general well-being.

RELATIONSHIPS

Humans are happiest when they feel connected, so it makes sense to nurture your relationships. Take the time to spend quality time with the people you care about. You will feel happier and so will they.

You don’t necessarily need a romantic relationship to feel connected. Relationships with friends and family can be just as fulfilling.

SPREAD JOY

If we all just want to be happy, doesn’t it make sense to spread the happiness. Smile at strangers, compliment people, be kind.

It may seem like a simple thing but sometimes a smile can make the difference to someone’s day. And not only that but the act of smiling has been shown to release endorphins that can make you feel happier.

 

pLAN, Plan, Plan

 

The old saying if you fail to plan you plan to fail can also influence your happiness. Having clear goals and a plan of how to get there takes a lot of the uncertainty out of life. And its also part of the fun. Think of the last time you went on holiday or had a party. The planning part was a great opportunity to start enjoying the event. Imagining the fun, you were going to have the experiences you would enjoy.

So why not start that type of planning around your future. Where are you headed and how are you going to get there? What are your financial goals? Relationship goals? Career goals? Knowing that you have a plan to achieve them is likely going to help you feel happier.

Choose to be happy

 

It’s easy to blame your happiness on outside forces. I know I have in the past. The economy, the political landscape, your friends or family. However, you are in control of your own happiness. You get to choose whether to be happy or not.

I am not suggesting that you are never affected by events in your life – life is always going to happen. You just choose not to let it stop you finding the joy in the world. You have the power within you if you are prepared to take responsibility for your own happiness.